In a world of constant movement overloaded with information and demands, it can be difficult to listen to our emotions. And yet, if we pay more attention to them, they can be better managed and thus serve us better. Here’s an update from Mickaël Eskinazi, clinical psychologist, therapist and neuroscientist at Open Mind Neurotechnologies .
What is an emotion ?
Emotion links the psychological to the physiological. It corresponds to a state of mind that is anchored in the body through various biological reactions. There are two types of emotion :
– The “primary emotions” : joy, anger, fear, sadness, disgust and surprise.
– The “complex emotions” : pride, embarrassment, guilt, admiration, serenity and passion.
How does it affect your body ? When you’re afraid or angry, for example, you may feel it in your heart. It speeds up, clenches and beats against your chest ; or your breathing, which also speeds up or stops.
Some reactions are invisible, such as your electrodermal activity (the electrical activity on the surface of your skin), which increases during intense emotion and influences your decision-making.
But emotion is not just an objective measure. Far from it ! It also includes a subjective experience specific to each individual. When dealing with your emotions on a day-to-day basis, it’s important to keep these two aspects of your emotional state in mind.
To better manage your emotions, try these 5 exercises.
Do some soul-searching
With this first exercise, you’re going to take stock of yourself. It’s called introspection. Introspection is the act of looking inside ourselves without judgment, as if we were a neutral observer. Human beings have a consciousness that enables them to observe themselves.
– Every day, take stock of the emotions you’ve felt over the past few hours. Ask yourself this simple question: ” What happened to my emotions today? ”
– Write down in a small notebook the moments when you got angry, scared or happy…
– Ask yourself : ” Why did I feel that way ? Why did I get angry ? ” and record your answers in your notebook. Come back to it later.
What’s the point ? If you practice this technique on a regular basis (for at least a month), you’ll be able to understand and analyze more and more quickly what you’ve been feeling during the day. In this way, the emotion will be less immediate. It can be processed more easily and will have fewer side effects on you.
Develop your listening skills
The more you observe yourself, the more you’ll be able to recognize the pre-signals that lead to a specific emotion, such as anger (heart racing, cheeks flushing…). Your inner observer will be triggered at the same time as the emotion you feel. And it’s this immediate awareness that will enable you to distance yourself from your emotion and manage it better.
What’s the point ? By taking this introspective assessment, you become aware of your pre-signals and ask yourself whether the situation you’re experiencing merits an anger-related reaction, for example. You can then act on it. Either by choosing to mobilize all your resources (physical and mental) to react or, on the contrary, by choosing to lower the level of activation because the situation isn’t worth it. And you’ll do this with full awareness.
Initiate yourself to relaxation
Relaxation is an ideal complementary exercise for managing your emotions. You can relax in the evening before going to bed, or during a break in the day. It can be as short as 5 minutes !
- Make yourself comfortable in a quiet place.
- Close your eyes and start breathing deeply and evenly.
- Concentrate solely on your breathing, which should become deeper and deeper.
- Repeat the exercise once or twice a day.
Why ? Relaxation helps to gradually reduce psychic tension, i.e. all the thoughts that are clouding your mind at any given moment. You put an end to past or future thoughts by focusing on your breathing. This lowers the activation level of the whole organism, resulting in a slow heartbeat synchronized with your breathing. The nervous system then engages the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is activated in safe, calm and soothing environments. It leads to a reduction in heart rate, breathing frequency and electrodermal activity.
Practice mental visualization
A complementary method to relaxation is mental visualization. How ? By looking back on a difficult moment in your day, and transforming it into a positive one. Or by visualizing positive moments and allowing the positive emotion to infuse, you can act on your emotional state. This technique is regularly used in hypnosis :
- Visualize a place where you feel safe and/or comfortable.
- Get into the habit of visualizing it when an emotion is strong.
- Breathe deeply for a few minutes (with your eyes closed, if that helps).
- Remember that emotion is only temporary.
Why ? Mental visualization enables you to rapidly modify your mental and physiological state. It helps to effectively modify certain automatic behaviors.
Act on your environment
Emotion can also help you get out of complex situations. It’s one of the signals that makes us understand that we’re in a situation where we shouldn’t be, and that we need to flee, for example. If your environment generates negative emotions, change them !
- Start by breathing deeply. If you have the opportunity to change your environment completely, do so. It’s very effective.
- Take a walk or go somewhere you like.
What’s the point ? By doing this, you’ll break any associations of ideas that are linked to the place you’re in. You’ll soon feel better. Simply because the immediate environment around you will be completely different.
You can also try to influence your internal environment, but this requires a little training. The idea is to modify some of your biological constants (heart rate, breathing, muscle tension, electrodermal activity…) when you’re overwhelmed by emotions.
Despite technological and scientific advances, and these practical exercises, we will never be able to absolutely control and master these emotions!
We can learn to observe them better and be more aware of the little moments that make up our lives. And finally, we can accept that not everything is adjustable, or even bond with this nebulous part. What do you say ?
